This Month's Articles
Nancy Nordstrom
Do you know the Oscar Wilde story of Dorian Gray? A mean-spirited man, he somehow maintained the appearance of youth and beauty while his portrait reflected the truth of his aging, egotistical self.
Sometimes, where our dreams are concerned, we take a similar approach but with a major difference. We externalize the ugliness rather than keep it hidden behind the curtain. We second-guess, question, and doubt who we are, where we are, what we’ve done, what we want to do. We display this distorted picture as if it is a true reflection of our desires.
When someone else voices this same ugly perception, one we helped develop, it appears to confirm this exposed portrait as truth.
It is not, it is a fear-based mind-set worn as a mantle to discourage others from pointing out that we may not succeed. It starts as a bit of self-deprecating humor about our dreams then grows into a falsehood we believe embodies the potential outcome. While inside we wonder at the possibility, externally we mock as childish fantasy.
Why can’t that hidden ideal be the one we shine on the world? Why can’t the hope of possibility permeate our being so others can reap the benefits of our optimism? Why can’t we acknowledge that we are striving for more without belittling the effort to do so?
Although we exhibit to the world something less instead, there is real beauty inside us, one based on hope, faith, and potential. We have doubts, and we second-guess, and sometimes we just plain make the wrong choice. We learn, and we reevaluate, and we move on – forever moving forward. Fabricating something wholly false, other than the possibility and our ability to realize it, cheats us of the realization of our dreams. It keeps us stagnant, painting a life that is more about what we don’t want, less about what we can truly achieve.
The story “The Portrait of Dorian Gray” exhibits man’s need to remain perfect while hiding imperfections from the world. You may be pulling your own reverse version of “Dorian Gray”: exposing negativity, while withholding the beauty found within your imagination. Pull open that curtain and shine a light on that dream. See it’s potential and seek out its realization. Uncover what has remained hidden so you can create what you want most out of life.
©2010 N.E. Nordstrom
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Mary Ann Alfreda, M.A.
We apply the term “magical thinking” to children during their early developmental stages. By 18 months, they create imaginary worlds in play; by three, they differentiate between reality and fantasy; but until seven or eight, they’ll still believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. They’ll wish upon stars and birthday candles and continue their creative pursuits all using this magical approach.
Symbolic moral and ethical legends found in fairytales, cartons, animated movies, and children’s books are portrayed through talking animals, mystical creatures, magic, and happily-ever-after. Child psychologist Bruno Bettelheim (“The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairytales”) describes the emotional necessity for children to interpret fairytales in their own way to foster emotional growth and to prepare them for adulthood. They can safely channel their anxieties and fears more easily with symbols and easily identifiable characters, helping them work out the dilemmas of their own lives.
What we may fail to recognize in our modern world is the necessity of fantasy and symbolic storytelling for the adult. In a culture filled with “reality” television programming and brutal depictions of the dark sides of human nature there seems to be a trend to disregard the subtle symbolic or magical sides of human nature. A “Psychology Today” 2008 article quoted Dr. Peter Brugger, Head of Neuropsychology at University Hospital Zurich as saying: “To be totally ‘unmagical’ is very unhealthy.” His data shows a lack of magical thinking being associated with depression and reduced levels of dopamine. Dopamine is the key neurotransmitter involved in magical thinking and what the brain uses to mark experiences as meaningful. By increasing exposure to creative pursuits: painting, drawing, music, writing, playing, etc. adults may increase their dopamine levels. Luckily, ability or talent in these areas is not important, but participation is essential.
Many of today’s animated movies have an appeal for the grownup accompanying the child – exposing adults to magical thinking. Much of the humor in “Toy Story 3”, “Cats and Dogs 2”, and other such films, can be appreciated by viewers of all ages. Discussing these stories, engaging in “what if” scenarios or even creating original characters and stories is an inventive way to engage in imaginative play. The popularity of adult animated films and television, as well as science fiction and fantasy entertainment captures the imagination and the inner-child present in all of us. This highlights the need adults have for entering a fantasy world from time to time, also channeling their anxieties through symbolic story telling and simple characters.
The need for “magical thinking” does not end at age three or age eight. Letting go of rational problem-solving for even a brief period and allowing thoughts to drift down avenues of magic thinking and adventure is not only fun, but also good for mental health!
And remember: on your next birthday make a wish when you blow out the candles on your cake.
©2010, Mary Ann Alfreda
Monica Lumpkin, M.D.
On my first day back from a wonderful vacation, I hit the ground running: rushing from one appointment to another and picking up my kids from one place or another; taking care of the endless tasks and responsibilities of daily life. I felt myself quickly getting lost in the madness overtaking the centering calm I had just acquired while away. It occurred to me that the “be still” mantra applies, even to adults.
To be still is not just about going to bed or sitting around watching television. To be truly still is an intentional act of contemplation: a quieting of the internal as well as the external noise that can take over our lives and ultimately frustrate our intentions and actions into an inextricable knot. Just because our cars can reach 180 mph doesn’t mean we should. So, just because we can forego sleep, rest or purposeful contemplation doesn’t mean that we should. After all, we don’t get something for nothing; there is always a price to be paid. For example, chronic sleep deprivation is associated with an increased risk of developing hypertension, reduced quality of life, depressive disorders, and alterations in sugar metabolism*. Taking moments to quiet the riot can reverse the damaging effects of chronic stress as well as allow us to take an alternate outlook on our lives.
It is not necessary or even possible for us to take the long, meditative retreats we deserve as often as we’d like (although occasional ones are ideal). Nevertheless, we should try to make a habit of incorporating islands of time in our day or week where we allow our bodies and minds to be still. These para-meditative exercises can take many forms: the calm holding of our children as they sleep, the gentle stroking of a family pet, doing mandala exercises, or going for a walk in a park. In living our lives constantly at the extreme, we risk burnout: physically, mentally, and spiritually. Good health is not just about eating well, exercising, or getting enough sleep. It is the whole package. It is the knitting together of our mental, spiritual, and physical needs holistically.
Do not focus so much on one aspect of your life to the exclusion of the other areas. It can be difficult, in our technologically dependent lives, truly to escape; however, we must find a way to practice this art of stillness regularly. It is a journey I seek for my own life as well as wish for yours.
*reviewed articles on “Medscape”.
P.S. Always consult with your physician first before making any health or medical related decisions.
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